Addiction Isn’t Failing - It’s a Pattern You Can Reprogram

Addiction has a bad rap. Let’s face it. In our society it’s shunned, stigmatised, and often hidden away in private groups, usually stamped with the word “anonymous.” But here’s the question: does that empower people who want to heal, or does it reinforce the idea that something is “wrong” with them?

To me, the latter rings true. The 'shame' narrative around addiction keeps people separate, when in reality, what’s going on is deeply human and actually pretty universal.

Addiction: More Common (and More Encouraged) Than We Admit

Most people think of addiction as a fringe issue. But we live in a culture that not only tolerates addictive behaviours, it also actively encourages them. Take alcohol: it’s woven into sport, workplaces, birthdays, funerals - you name it. Yet research consistently shows alcohol is one of the most harmful drugs, both to individuals and to society, often more so than many illegal substances (Nutt et al., 2010; Alcohol Healthwatch, 2024).

So why do we cheer on the champagne and demonise the meth pipe? It’s inconsistent. And it proves that addiction is not simply about the individual, it’s about the society that shapes, normalises, and reinforces patterns of behaviour.

The Mind as a Programme

At its core, addiction is not a moral failing. It’s a brain loop. Think of it like a computer programme that has glitched and keeps running the same command on repeat. It’s not “the person” that’s broken, it’s the programme. And programmes can be rewritten.

Neuroscience tells us the unconscious mind drives much of our behaviour. Psychologists like John Bargh have shown that automatic, unconscious processes govern decision-making far more than we realise (Bargh & Chartrand, 1999). Joe Dispenza, a modern neuroplasticity educator, puts it simply: by the time you’re 35, much of who you are is a set of memorised behaviours and emotional reactions running on autopilot. While the “95%” figure he uses is more metaphor than hard science, the principle holds; most of us are living from conditioned patterns rather than conscious choice.

Einstein famously said: “We cannot solve problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” To shift an addictive pattern (or any unhelpful habit), we need a higher level of awareness than the one that formed it in the first place.

Early Programming + Social Conditioning = Reinforced Loops

Much of this programming begins in childhood, even before the age of 3. Early attachment, family environment, and beliefs formed in those tender years leave strong imprints (Siegel, 2012). Of course, development doesn’t stop at age 3, the brain is plastic throughout life, but those early experiences matter.

Add to that the weight of social conditioning. Advertising tells us what to buy, media tells us what to look like, and culture tells us what to drink. Before long, the brain’s operating system is filled with beliefs and habits that feel “normal,” even if they’re not healthy.

Introduce a substance (like alcohol) or behaviour (like compulsive work, scrolling, shopping), and suddenly you’ve got a loop that reinforces itself - body, brain, and belief. That’s addiction.

Thought, Emotion, and the Body

Every thought creates a chemical response in the body. Limiting thoughts like “I’m not good enough” produce stress chemicals that hardwire over time. This isn’t just pop psychology; it’s well-documented neuroscience. The body becomes addicted to familiar emotional states, and before long, you’re predicting the future based on the past.

But here’s the flip side: new thoughts create new choices, which create new behaviours, which create new experiences, which produce new emotions. This is the process of neuroplasticity; the brain rewiring itself. It’s not easy, but it’s possible.

Eastern philosophy has long understood this too. Buddhism teaches that suffering arises from attachment and unconscious craving - essentially, running the same mind-loops. Mindfulness is the practice of observing those patterns without judgement and choosing differently.

Pain as Teacher, Not Enemy

Here’s the tough bit: growth is uncomfortable. Our society tells us to avoid pain at all costs; take a pill, numb the symptom, distract yourself. But discomfort is where change begins.

Sitting in the “unknown,” that awkward space where your familiar patterns don’t fit anymore, is where transformation happens. Pain becomes the teacher, not the enemy.

So How Do We Re-programme?

1. Notice the Pattern

Pay attention to the thoughts, feelings, and habits you’re repeating.

2. Interrupt the Loop

Do something different. Even small changes like taking a new route home or starting a new hobby spark new neural connections.

3. Challenge Conditioning

See where cultural norms (like “everyone drinks”) are shaping your behaviour unconsciously.

4. Choose Again

Replace old beliefs with empowering ones. Build new experiences that reinforce who you want to become, not who you’ve been told to be.

And above all, remember this: there is nothing wrong with you. Addiction, anxiety, self-sabotage; these are patterns, not identities. With awareness and practice, you can rewire them.

You are already whole. The work is simply remembering who you are beyond the programme.

Much love,

Bec x