Addiction and the Systems we Live In

I recently had the chance to spend a few weeks back in the city, dipping back into the rhythm of what many would call a 'normal' work week. After eight months of countryside quiet and three years living and working beside the beach, returning to the fast pace of city life felt like stepping into an entirely different reality.

So, I decided to become the observer.

I’m no stranger to the city. I grew up in it. I worked in it. I even discovered my own addictions in it. And now, more than ever, I can see just how easy it is to fall into the trap. Not just addiction in the traditional sense, but addiction to distraction, to busyness, to praise, to productivity for productivity’s sake.

Society has been built around this idea of 'working.' For most people, it’s 8 hours a day, 5 (or more) days a week, with the rest of that time either spent recovering from or preparing for the next workday.

But have we ever stopped to ask: who was this system designed for?

The City as a Mirror

Cities are fascinating. They reflect our collective values back to us, whether we like it or not. At the centre are towering office buildings and high-rise apartments. Surrounding those: shops filled with things we don’t need, fast food for convenience, and bars on almost every corner.

If cities are our cultural compass, they seem to be pointing us toward one main directive: work hard, spend more, soothe the discomfort however you can.

But imagine if cities truly valued wellbeing. Imagine if they were designed to support our nervous systems instead of overload them. Think soft lighting, nature-based spaces to pause and breathe, nourishing food options on every street, gentle music drifting from speakers, and billboards with uplifting messages instead of advertisements convincing us we’re not enough.

Coming back to the city made me ask: how is this pace, this structure, this environment actually supporting human wellness? The answer is... it isn’t. Not really. Everything is fast, loud, urgent. It's a perfect storm for a constantly activated nervous system, one stuck in fight-or-flight.

The Power of Observation

When we remove ourselves from something and return with fresh eyes, we can finally see the things we’d normalised. Without that pause, most of us unconsciously adapt. We stop thriving and start surviving.

That’s when I remembered an interview with Alanis Morissette, someone who’s publicly navigated addiction herself. She spoke about something I deeply resonated with “praise addiction.” She described how you can work yourself to burnout and be praised for it. Society cheers you on: "You’re amazing! You’re unstoppable!"

But drink or drug yourself into the ground? That’s a problem. That’s an addiction.

The truth is that both are relief-seeking behaviours. Both can slowly destroy you. The only difference is how society responds. As Alanis put it: “Addiction is simply a relief-seeking measure that kills you eventually in one way or another.”

The Female Body

Here's where I think we need a bigger conversation, especially for women.

Everywhere I look, I see women trying to do it all - single mums, full-time workers, caregivers, homemakers, business owners. Managing homes, raising kids, maintaining relationships, holding down careers. And doing it all in a system that was never built for them.

Did you know that the entire 9–5 work schedule was designed around the male biological clock, which resets every 24 hours? Meanwhile, the female hormonal cycle follows a roughly 28-day pattern. That’s not just a nice-to-know fact, it’s foundational to how women experience energy, focus, mood, and stress.

Even our buildings are built with male physiology in mind. Offices are air-conditioned to male body temperatures. Most diet and exercise studies - done on men. Cold plunges, intermittent fasting, high-intensity workouts - you name it, it’s been tested on men and marketed to everyone.

So, when women struggle to keep up, when they hit burnout, when they reach for something to soothe or numb, is it really any surprise?

So, What’s the Answer?

There’s no one-size-fits-all fix. But there is a place to start.

Start listening to your body.

Your body is wise. It will whisper at first - a tight chest, a restless night, a skipped period, a sense of dread. And if we don’t listen, those whispers grow louder over time, into fatigue, illness, anxiety, or chronic conditions.

Awareness is the first rebellion.

So ask yourself:

• What parts of your daily routine actually support your biology?

• What do you do just because it’s what everyone else does?

• Where are you surviving, instead of thriving?

  
  

You’re allowed to question it all. In fact, your health might depend on it.

Much love,

Bec x